Life after owning a small business

 

Growing up on the vibrant, colourful Fonthill Rd in London, in a family-owned fashion business was one huge adventure.

Not only did my mother and father work together, but I had two uncles, an aunty and older cousins with a shop on the same street. Most days after school and on weekends I’d run carefree between the shops finding hiding places under the rails and making models and toys from the various bits discarded around the shops.

As I got a little older, I helped out more in my parents’ business after school packing orders and checking the quality of garments coming out of the factory. This resulted in a strong work ethic from a young age. When I left school, I had two weeks off and went straight into work with my parents where I stayed for 20 odd years!

Running your own business can be both dream and nightmare. You’re the boss. You get to work on your terms but when things are tough you feel isolated. The business worries impact your business and your personal life and relationships. Unless you’ve run your own business you can’t fully understand the pressures. The reality struck me hard. Now I was included in the conversations I hadn’t heard as a child. The pressures on my parents when the going was tough were a lot to deal with. I felt guilty for all those times when, sheltered from the truth, I asked for this and that. I could see now how difficult that must have been for my parents in the down  times.

And then the worst happened. Suddenly my father got ill and within three weeks he had passed. I was completely lost. Family life crumbled. Mental health support was non-existent and I felt I had to carry on so as not to let my father down. I should have shut the shop there and then.

The business didn’t die overnight. Through a combination of manufacturing moving abroad, fabric prices going up, and new, cheaper competition coming into the area we struggled. Customers weren’t paying on time and we couldn’t pay our suppliers.  Juggling money becomes routine and that’s not the way to run a business.

I carried on for two years after my father’s passing growing increasingly ill and in a downward spiral. I never drank or took substances. My only escape was video games which took me to a different place but any escape was only temporary and finally I had to make a change. I spoke with my landlord. My father had been his tenant for 35 years. We had one year left on the lease and I asked him to terminate it early. He refused. This hit me very hard, but I knew I’d reached the end of the line. One Saturday I emptied and cleaned the shop and dropped the keys on the desk of the letting agency. I can honestly say I let out big breath, my shoulders relaxed and dropped and I may even have had a tear in my eye when I locked that door for the last time. I did the right thing.

So where does a former small business owner go next? I’d never needed a CV never mind done an interview or searched for a job. But I soon discovered I had a valuable network. I already had a good relationship with the local authority, Islington council as I was the Co-chair of the Fonthill Rd Traders Association. I was interested in the work that the inclusive economy team did to support the traders. I talked to the council officer looking after the businesses. I had the offer of help with a CV from one of the team leaders in employment support. That blew my mind! The inclusive economy team contacted me and said there was an opportunity for work experience which I grabbed with both hands. I absolutely loved it! I was working across the team supporting on various projects and ended up working with the businesses on the Fonthill Rd where I had my shop. I had the fashion background and brought real world experience of running a small business through good and bad. There was no promise of a job, but I was always hopeful but if I worked hard and proved myself to be of a benefit to the team and the people I was supporting that maybe, just maybe, I’d get a position. When I was offered a job at the end of the work experience, I was absolutely elated!

Despite all that positivity I wasn’t out of the woods. My manager spotted something was up. She gave me the space to speak and I let it all out, struggles with dyslexia, family issues and much more and she reprogrammed me and managed to get the very best out of me. She sent me so many resources to support me and gave me space and time and no doubt fought my corner without me knowing. Six years later I’m still here.

I’m Islington Council’s Senior Local Economies Officer (Part of the Community Wealth Building Directorate) for Finsbury Park. I look after those same businesses I grew up alongside. I know how small businesses live their lives and that helps me help them.

I met the Small Business Commissioner in 2023 and gave her a tour of Finsbury Park where she talked to the business owners. They appreciated the opportunity to speak to her. Businesses need as much support and to have their voices heard.

The best decision I ever made? Believing in and listening to the people who truly believed in me. They will always be my family and they’re the reason I put passion and care into the work I do. I will always be ferociously loyal to those who gave me a second chance.

Forever grateful to, Caroline Wilson, Patrice Buddington and Conor Cusack.